Why you can lose your kids, while you win in matrimonial cases.

Why you can lose your kids, while you win in matrimonial cases.

Background

Matrimonial cases do take lot of time and couples with children are the worst hit. These cases do take lot of time more than normal time than the usual. It can take a decade or more to resolve these disputes. The leverage of reduction in maintenance or complete zero maintenance strategy is not available as for children the husband must pay and there is no way to avoid children maintenance. Maintenance process is a big leverage in ending these types of cases and once the protection is gone the cases take long time to get resolved.

But real causality in such cases is the bond between the father and their children. Especially when children are separated from their father at a very tender age. Suppose a child was just 2 years of age and got separated from their father due to matrimonial dispute, the real challenge in such cases the child will not have a father figure to look upon. The emotional bond was broken during the most formative years. While if the child is above 5 years there still some emotional attachment with both child and with the father and the bond could have been strengthened. In all the bond between the father and child has nothing to do with the matrimonial dispute but this bond becomes primary causality.

Once the wife starts to live separately from the husband the fathers lose access to their children.

Some father pleads to wife for a respectful visit on the other hand wife uses this delicate bond as leverage either to demand an exorbitant alimony to settle or inflict as much mental pain to father as possible by denying access.

Finding no other way fathers do approach the courts under different provisions as mandate by the law.

The Legal remedies

There are some legal remedies which are available to husband as per law one is under GWA and another under the HMA law. The first and foremost remedy which are available to the husband is the visitation to the child.

Suppose husband approaches the court with an application of visitation. The courts could take up to a year time to decide this application as a result most formative years of the child is lost in this time. The emotional bond as far as child is concerned is lost. In one of our recent case a child was able to meet the father after 6 years of separation for the first time because of such a long separation the child was unable to recognize his own father. Such is the fate of the father when such applications are not decided expeditiously. In one of the case the father did not even ask for visitation fearing false implication by wife in further false cases. When there is girl child father has an apprehension that he might be implicated under the POSCO where even getting bail is difficult.

Actual scenario

In many cases the visitation orders are also flouted and with no or little legal repercussion wife on the other hand goes free, inflicting mental pain for the husband on non-compliance of the orders. There is very little scope left with courts to facilitate compliance of visitation orders. Because women always have victim card with the child. As a result, have always seen husband gasping for visitation and development of emotional bond with child. On many instances I have seen that there is interference of mother when visitation orders are passed, father is unable to talk with child freely. Another aspect of interference by mother is tutoring, this is when the husband breaks when he starts to hear ill will about himself from the child. A child memory can be hijacked with false narratives which many wives are expert in making. The child is separated not just from the father but also from the truth.

Effect on child

The effects of matrimonial issues play heavy on the child and psychology. The negative development and conditioning effects overall development of child. If the wife has custody of the child, she has no right to destroy the conditioning of the child. The child deserves positive environment and positive parenting and in absence of father child future is destroyed for a short-term mental satisfaction of the wife, such a mean approach should be considered by the courts. Meaningful visitation with expeditious disposal of visitation application is the only solution to this issue. Further, courts should also become sensitive to the psychological conditioning of the child. Small children can be manipulated and tutored very easily and if courts are mute spectator, then the child development and parenting is a causality. Meaningful visitation in India is still at a very nascent stage. The psychology of the child is never considered scientifically, and award of visitation is given like a formality or a non-flexible standard approach. Recently at one of the family courts same visitation orders are given with little emphasis on child psychology and requirement. Sometimes wife approaches court and say that the child does not want to meet the father to defeat visitation orders and the court cannot go against the wishes of child. Because of the delay in visitation order it is natural for the husbands to face parental alienation in the end child is the ultimate victim. Mother who is a failure and father who lose.